Complainte
by Aribh1306
Summary: Please, forgive me. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to abandon you.


**A/N:** This fanfiction is a reply to **Moownk's **fanfiction "_Lamentation_", so, if haven't read it yet, you should (; It's amazing.

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**Complainte**

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Nothing bothered me when I was with her. To look at her made my body simply ignore the cold we felt during winter in Little Hangleton. It made my ears become deaf to any sound but her voice, made my eyes not care about any other thing but her face. The people who said I was rude had never seen me accompanied by Cecilia. With her, the arrogant and childish Tom seemed to vanish… The only thing that remained was a silly teenager that would laugh at her words and would feel his heart jump inside his chest at the mere touch of her fingers. I was hers and she was mine, we knew that and it was all that mattered.

But something put itself between us. A shadow whose thin, but strong, fingers pulled me away from Cecilia when I would never think it would happen… A cloud of magic seemed to have invaded my head and clouded my eyes, making me unable to see the girl I loved. I didn't know what I was seeing. I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know who I loved. I didn't know who I was… The only thing I knew was that there was someone controlling me and that my body seemed to refuse to disobey her. I had to obey that voice that echoed in my head, whisper about how much I loved her, how much she loved, how I didn't need anyone else to be happy, how there was no other woman in my life but her, the stranger with no face who whispered in my ear all during day and night.

The days, weeks, months and, who knows, years that passed by seemed clouded. I could remember my parents saying that I had gone mad, but, at the same time, the voice in my head would say that everything was alright. I also remember that, one day, I saw someone who seemed familiar to me near my house… I didn't know who she was, I couldn't remember, but I the person seemed so familiar… But then the voice would start to talk again, making me feel good, making me smile and act as if I was a perfectly normal and happy man.

I had no idea of how much time was passing by while I was lost in the middle of that mist, held by those fingers, seduced by that voice… But what was really scary was when my vision cleared and I was able to see the face of the voice, the owner of the thin fingers and the mouth that conjectured all that magic. As soon as I saw the person, nothing else made sense… And I didn't want it to make sense, because, if it did, I would have to stay with her, make justice to the golden wedding ring that was on my finger and take care of the child she said she was expecting. I was scared. Scared that if I stayed for one more second near her, she would bewitch me again… scared that the child who was not even born yet would become something like Marvolo and Morfin Gaunt… scared of going mad… scared that I had already gone mad.

I ran; I ran as fast as I could and never looked back, at least not that day… I never thought I would like to see the calm Little Hangleton as much as I did that day and I never thought I would burst into tears the second I saw my mother like I did when I finally got home. I lost track of the days again, but this time I was locked inside my own bedroom, trying to ignore the reality that was just on the other side of the door… My father's screams, my mother's lovely words, the servants' whispers, the villager's gossip, the high society's commentaries, the woman I had abandoned in London during the winter, the child she was carrying inside her womb, the woman I had left waiting for me in Little Hangleton…

When I finally came out of my shelter, it was to watch the one I loved get united with another man by the sacred matrimony… My mother tried to hide everything that could show what I had gone through, but I doubt she had managed to hide all of it; after all, I could feel the tiredness that invaded my body, the sadness that made me just want to sit down on a corner and die, and, above all things, the hate I felt every time I looked at Cecilia, saw her standing next to her soon–to-be husband, and I started to imagine what would have happened to us if Merope Gaunt's small and sly hands hadn't pulled me away from my own life.

I smiled, of course. I smiled when she walked past me, wearing the white dress that she talked about too much when she started to dream about our wedding. She looked at me with those blue eyes that pleaded for an answer… They wanted to know the reason I abandoned her without even saying "good bye", the reason I had chosen a girl who I didn't even know over her, the reason I had shattered her heart… But I didn't know the answers for those questions. I had no idea of what to say… So I smiled, because I knew how much she liked my smile and because smiling was the only thing I could do at the moment. But it was a sad smile. A small "I'm sorry" smile. A smile begging for forgiveness… But it was the only thing I could do.

Cecilia's lips curled up a little… And it wasn't enough. That tiny smile would never be enough… But I believe I should have appreciated that curl of her lips a little longer…

But who would know that that would be the last time I would ever see her smiling to me?

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**A/N:** As I said, this fanfiction in a reply to **Moownk's **fanfiction, "_Lamentation_" ( that can be found here www . fanfiction . net / s / 6630062 / 1 / Lamentation ) . She wrote "Lamentation" and sent it to me, while I was reading it, I couldn't stop thinking about Tom Sr's POV of the story and then... Complainte was written (: Everything in this fanfiction was made to fit "Lamentation", the title ( Complainte = lamentation in French), the way the story goes on, the synopsis... I really liked to write this (:

Thanks, **Shadow6116**, for correcting it (:

I hope you enjoy the fanfic (:

**Ari.**


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